Holidays, champagne breakfasts and technology

After a whole month of silence, I feel a bit sheepish about another entry. I like holidays: time with family and friends, the fast and then the feast at church, and plenty of time to have fun. Did I manage any of those things?

There was more time with the family, but surprisingly little as I struggled to juggle the SST conference, planning for the coming term and the movements of said family between countries and houses. The lenten fast was somewhat compromised by the fact that I never impose my personal discipline on other people, so every time I went out for an evening or a meal, all the limitations were suspended - and I had a very social Lent! But it wasn't such a bad thing, really. I was feeling fragile enough that a strict fast this year would have been too harsh for my equanimity. Sometimes what one needs is a gentle Lent.

Holy Week was quite horrible, really. The most recent gentleman caller called it a day (not unexpectedly) just before Palm Sunday, and Maundy Thurs would have been my silver wedding had that marriage had more mileage. I don't regret the ending of the marriage - it's long in the past now - but I carried a sense of sin and failure through the whole week, and by Good Friday wasn't up to handling the raw pain of the liturgy. So I made hot cross buns and shared them with friends instead.

The bright spot was the Maundy Thursday service at York Minster. It was a three part affair: chrism mass, renewal of ordination vows and foot-washing. All the diocese clergy were there, and all processed in and out, which was pretty impressive - a fabulous sense of being part of the whole church.

I always like the blessing of the oils - again, it reminds me of being part of the fabric of the church somehow. The renewal of vows was impressive for being such a mass event. And I finally fell in love with the new Archbishop when he did the foot-washing - none of this two drips and a dab with the towel, and a host of minions. He hooked up his robes, got right down on his hands and knees and did a thorough job on both feet of each person, and lugged the bowl and jug around himself. After the first couple, he stopped and moved his stole from hanging round his neck to across one shoulder and tied at the side, like a deacon, to stop it dipping in the water. And then he left it in the deacon position for the rest of the service - a neat way of symbolising the servanthood thing. I was mightily impressed and I don't impress easily.

For various reasons we went to the dawn service this year on Easter Day, a mistake I shall not be making again. Meeting on the green, in the dark, at 5.30am was not pleasant, and there were so many pointless elements designed to make sentimental twenty somethings feel they were part of something meaningful that I wanted to scream. Why would anybody want to cense a green space full of daffodils, for goodness' sake? Much as I like Christina Rosetti, she didn't really write liturgical material, so why did we have to listen to an emotional rendition of one of her ditties as we stood ankle deep in damp grass getting cold? The bonfire (remind me - what is the liturgical significance of barbecue fuel?), casting palm crosses thereon, a procession to the church behind a torch that looked too much like a Ku Klux Klan flaming cross for good taste, candles and holy water and procession to odd places and a completely botched stab at Hail Thee Festival Day that reduced the whole congregation of 30 or so to giggles... and then a Eucharist without the Gloria. Grrrr.

However, the post-service breakfast with champagne, croissants, rolls, eggs, bacon, toast, coffee, tea, fruit juice, fresh fruit and easter cakes wasn't bad. I came away feeling very well fed but spiritually empty - not a good Easter, really.

I think the domestic highlight was the installation of wireless broadband, the first fruit of my payrise. In an almost trouble free couple of hours, I installed and set up a router that serves four computers and connected them all so that the rest of the week saw a surge in MSN activity by a few thousand percent. It's the first time the boys have been connected directly to the internet since the elder cooked his modem looking at porn.

This set me to wondering. When I was the age of the youngest, we had one fixed telephone in the house, and I had to ask permission to use it - and give a jolly good reason. We have four internet conected computers, two phone lines, and three mobiles. I can't now, imagine life without all this connectedness. When I was at school, I waited two weeks for a reply from my parents to the weekly letter home. Now, fourth child and I chat almost daily when he comes in from school, despite the 1500 miles and 2 hrs time zone shift that separates us. I love being so connected!